01/18/02

It's actually saturday morning at 1:30 am right now but this entry corresponds with friday. I just got back from seeing black hawk down with cathy. It was an okay movie, I think most guys would like it but being the emotional, sensitive guy that I am, there was not enough sappiness for me. I'll probably be in deep shit tomorrow because mom called in the middle of the movie and said I better be home by midnight. I wasn't even close. Anyways, as for the rest of the day...This morning there was a little incident between me and Chris. I chewed him out for not knowing how to drive and getting me caught in lots of traffic. I guess that kindled the fire because around lunch time I was flaming. In religion, Ron and Mark were talking about what type of drivers piss them off. They were using stereotypes, sex, racial, whatever. Well when I decided to pipe up I said something about black guys in expeditions. Pow, Pow. I was hearing it from both sides. "who cares if their music shakes your mirror, " "you're just jealous," "why do you have to be racist about it?" BLAH BLAH BLAH. It was the last straw, I completely blew up. Those ignorant assholes always try to make my words out to be racial or demeaning and don't take what I say seriously. It pisses me off. For one I really don't like any of them except Ron and Adam, the rest are either trying to start shit (mark) or they are following losers. In lunch line, after I finihsed paying, the lady said, "Have a nice weekend." Before I could say anything, Corini was chewing me out and saing I'm a dickhead and an asshole for not replying. Then Mark told him that he's glad to see corini not taking any shit from me anymore. So Corini started talking shit and getting on my nerves. If we weren't at school I would have punched him. Anyways, instead I just left the table and went to talk to rachel. It was an okay day despite the morning and lunch hour. I also realized today that I only have one true friend, Cathy. Ron is close, but he doesn't quite know all of me and he still does things which hurt me and piss me off. I'm going to try my best from here out to not associate myself with Corini or any of the others for the rest of the school year. Is it May 25th yet? Boy I can't wait, time to get true friends and time to be myself and not worry about anything other people think about me. It's time for me to grow some balls and stand up for myself.