02/04/02

I think today was just one of those days. I kind of walked around in a sulky mood and I wasn't very cheerful today. I'm not quite sure why, but I know part of the reason was that my friends are completely immature and I can't stand them. At lunch today they talked about the same shit they always talk about and I think I realized that I wasn't welcome and I moved to cathy's table and talked to her and her friends. So even though I got good grades in calculus and all my other classes exxcept religion I was still upset about something. A few people asked what I was so down about but when I realized what it was that was bugging me I couldn't tell them...shit, I couldn't even tell cathy. It has something to do with the Tucker guy from Nease. He seems pretty cool and he has an awesome social life which supercedes mine, so A) I'm kind of jealous of him and the fun social life he has and B) I'm kind of upset that it seems he's not interested in me. I think that right now I'm trying too hard to please him. I called him friday night and we talked for a long time and he said to call him anytime...so because I was on "groundation" saturday night, I called him, but he wasn't answering. Then I didn't hear from him yesterday either. I talked to him some tonight and it cheered me up a little. I'm scared. I haven't even met him in person yet and he is already affecting my moods. I think it might be headed somewhere though because tonight he wanted to introduce me to his best friend. Maybe I'm reading too much into that, but I do know that she listened in on everything we talked about. In fact, I kind of think he put her up to it. Anyways, I hope I don't set myself up for a big letdown here. Maybe, just maybe this will turn out good and put a little bounce in my step. Oh by the way, I finished my english paper tonight and I'm glad it's out of the way...its not as important to mention as my confused and messed up social life and love life though. Hehe, what love life right?