02/07/02

I think I'm mad at the world. Today started off bad and then it got better before getting bad again, and so on. This morning I was really out of it, especially after I got an 87 on a Calc exam. That's not horrible but I need to do better so I can get 100% and a new car. All day I was thinking about how shitty school is getting to be and how much I can't stand what's going on around me. Everyone is immature, everyone is close-minded, everyone sucks. Ron is starting to slip too, even he is pissing me off, if I don't watch it, soon I'll be pissed off at my parents. Cathy went and told Ron what I said about him niggering me and then when I saw him he starts ripping on my performance in the Palm Coast game. Telling me I only made one tackle!! Bullshit. I made 3 or 4 on my own and I had a bunch of assists. It's not like he was anything special. Anyways, I got my lift in and then I came home. Tonight I went to Therese's game at Wolfson and froze my ass off while I talked to Nicole. Just a bunch of catching up stuff, nothing real deep. Actually I think I might tell her my secret someday soon. So anyways, the game ran late and if that bitch, Nate, who I guess I like, called me, then I missed him. I doubt he called though, the little prick hasn't even emailed me yet. Maybe he's not as interested as I am. Oh well, maybe something good will come out of it. I hope so because I need to relate and I need to go out with more people. I've kept myself couped up and it's affecting my psych. I don't know why I'm mad at the world but I am. I'm so pathetic, I'll be spending tomorrow night at home, all by myself. God, I hate the way things are right now, why can't people like me and show it. I want so bad to be liked and loved. My life sucks right now, I don't see it turning around any time soon. I hope it's not much longer though.